학교 수행평가라 매주마다 주제를 내줘서요 교정 부탁드려요
I like BIGBANG
When I am first-year student,
>> When I was in the first grade,
I knew big bang by a dirty crash song first.
> I came to know it through its crash songs.
..작문에 dirty같은 말은 쓰지 말길
Big bang member is Kwon Ji Yong , Dong Yung Bae,Choi Seung Hyun,Lee Seung Hyun
,Kang Dae Sung.
>> The bans consists of four members.
They are Kwon Ji Yong , Dong Yung Bae,Choi Seung Hyun,Lee Seung Hyun.
When I was third middle student big bang height .
>> ???
Now l have Gwonjiyong solo album CD and 3rd album.
>> Recently, I bought a CD of Mr. Kown, Ji-yong, his third album.
Gwonjiyong is learde of BIGBANG.He sings well and compose the song and handsome.
>> He is the leader of it, sings very well, and composes good musics.
Even he is very handsome.
Big bang is quite famous in Japan and current they song World Cup support Song with Kim Yu-na!
>> The band is very famous among Japanese, and its World Cup Song is with Kim, Yu-Na, the champion of the figure skating of the world, too.
.........................
..............
.......
영작이든 발표든
보고듣는 사람들의 이해도 증가 여부에 따라 그 성패가 좌우된다 할 수 있으므로,
누구나 다 알법한 특정 이름이 나오더라도
다시 한번 동격 구조를 이용한
부가 설명이 있어야 합니다.
그래야 글의 전반적인 이해도가 증진되어
사람들이 그것을 기반으로 점점 새로운 정보를 흥미진진하게
받아들이게 되는 것임을 명심하시길
라 울 선생님
[출처] 교정 부탁드려요 (황인영 영어 카페) |작성자 apricot
'라울선생님의영작교수' 카테고리의 다른 글
| [스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {11} (0) | 2011.09.07 |
|---|---|
| [스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {10} (0) | 2011.09.05 |
| [스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {8} (0) | 2011.09.05 |
| [스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {7} (0) | 2011.09.05 |
| [스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {6} (0) | 2011.09.05 |