[스크랩] Raoul Teacher`s Writing Support {14}

hello i'm ___,

today what I intend to do is to explain raising a pet is a good way to develop a sense of responsibility.

 

>> This time,let me talk about the good points

that children can get by keeping pets at home. 

 

First, young kids usually grow up with the care

from their parents,and then depend on them.

But when a pet is at home, children feel different.

They think they have to protect and keep the animal safe and sound.

 

 

 

 

Children grow up always protected by their parents and depend on their parents. But children feel duty by having a pet to take care of. Children feed and protects their pets themselves and get responsibility for the pets. now I am going to deal with three aspects of how raising a pet makes children have responsibility.

 

>> Second, having a pet helps people strengthen their patience and endurance. An animal can not speak. This point sometimes makes the pet owner irritated and annoyed. For example, pet owners can not sleep well at night if their dogs are barking all through the night. However, if this kind of  pattern is repeated, the dog owners learn to control their dogs, and get more patience. 

 

 

First, raising a pet helps people to develop patience. animals can not speak. So in some cases pet owners feel angry while raising a pet.

For example, owners may get upset and can not sleep in the night if their dogs are barking all night. Owners train their dogs persistently. It follows therefore that pet owners raise patience.

 

 

>> Third, raising a pet helps the owners have love. Pets can not live alone. Somebody should take care of them well. They are not wild animals. They are weak actually. So,the pet owner should give food and shelter to them. The person who has pets must love and help this weak animals. And this kind of caring can make the pet keepers find out what the true love is.

 

 Therefore,

keeping and raising an animal as pets has many good aspects.

Children can be responsible, endurable and lovely better,

with the presence of the one they must look after.

 

So, I think that

it's a good idea

to look around and find out a good pet for you,

when you feel lonely and when you are alone.

How about keeping a pet around you?

 

 Thanks for your time.

 

 

 

씻기전 잠깐 본다고 했는데

말의 논리를 생각하는데 시간이 꽤 걸리는군요. ㅋ

 

잘 되었는지는 모르겠지만,

애완동물 기르기의 장점을 열거한 후

한마리 키워보면 어떨지?라고 물어보는 식으로 끝맺으면 어떨까 싶네요.

이러저러 해서 책임감을 길러준다는 식으로 해서

원인 분석 하는 것 보다는 일반적인 논리로 이야기를 해 보면

어떨 까 싶습니다.

 

애완 동물 기르기를 계속 raising a pet이라고만 하지 말고,

keeping, having 등등으로 쉬운 영어로 계속 말을 바꿔보길..

 

한국어라고 했던 말 똑같이 반복하면,

그 말이 엄마의 잔소리든 이성 친구의 다정한 소리이든,

쉽게 짜증이 잘 나겠죠?

 

이것이 영미 지성인들이 글을 쓸 때 가장 주의하는 요소 중 하나입니다.

패러프레이징(Paraphrasing) -말 바꾸어 쓰기- 야 말로,

 

거의 전 세계 최하의 IBT 토플 실력을 자랑하는,

영작에 두려움을 느끼는 나라.

대한민국이 느껴야 할

영어에 대한 새로운 깨달음이 될 것이라고

믿습니다.

 

라 울 선생님

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Second, Pet owners have personality to respect creatures. although pet is smaller and less intelligent, owner perceives a pet as respected creature By raising a pet , feeding a pet, taking walking with a pet and looking at their expression!s and behaviors carefully, So they do not treat small creatures with a sneer.

Third, raising a pet helps developing ability to feel sympathy and love. pets cannot help living without depending on their owners unlike wild animals. thinking suffering from hunger and thirst, owner feed a pet and try to consider pet's feelings. sympathy with animals may be more difficult or easier than that with people. person think and behave deeply toward people as well as animals.

 

영어 스피치 할거 써본거에요, 서론과 본론은 썻는데 마지막 결론을 아직 못썻어요.

앞의 내용을 강조하려면 어떻게 써야할까요 ??? 문법이나 내용보충,표현등 틀린것좀 알려주세요 !!ㅜㅜ

내일까지 완성해야해요ㅜㅜㅜㅜ

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